We’ve been going about this all wrong!
We need to locate a big, fat disgusting pig with a slobby bimbo dog face. Then we can ask this unprofessional disaster herself where her wherever is. (Full disclosure: it’s possible that she will drop to her knees to show us.)
Except . . . she doesn’t have her facts. So we might be out of luck after all. Whoever can tell us, then, where her wherever is?
Whither wherever? We may never know.